Saturday, February 9, 2008

The Twins


My first real girl friend was Linn B. I‘ll get permission to use her full name if I ever run into her again. I hope I will.

I met her through her twin sister Lee when I was 14. Lee was Don Belk’s girlfriend. Don was the bass player in my first band and we got into a lot of trouble together when we were even younger. I’ll tell that story later. Don died a few years ago.

Just a little side note: the first song we played was Alice Cooper’s 18. We’d repeat the verse over and over and never get to the chorus. It must have been maddening to our friends.

Linn and I first kissed hidden in bushes by railroad tracks somewhere in Webster Groves. It took about 2 hours before we got up the courage for that first one but after that we were off and running.

We experienced everything for the first time together including drugs, sex, philosophy and politics. Linn and I were just beginning to read. I was obsessed with Gandhi, Herman Hesse, Joyce Carol Oats and Carlos Constaneda.

I went to an alternative high school at Grand and Washington called Logos. My teachers were Jesuit Priests in training that were opposed to the Viet Nam War. They were pulling their conscientious objection duties as teachers. They turned me on to a lot of books.

Linn and I slept together for 6 months before we even tried sex. When we finally did she got pregnant.

Her father Ralph was a saint about it all. Ralph was a single dad with 4 daughters. My friends and I pretty much took over the house.

Things were a lot looser in those days. I remember rehearsing in our guitarist, John’s basement apartment at Matrix High School. Ralph would walk around from musician to musician holding a joint to our lips. His real love was opera and often we’d find him in a Tux going out to sing somewhere.

Linn's sister Lee was not like Linn at all. She partied heavily.

It was during this time that I met Pam. Pam’s father was a successful psychiatrist at Washington University and had even written one of their school texts. I had a few girl friends whose parents were psychologists and they always seemed to be studying us.

One day Pam brought photos of a GED high school in Massachusetts she wanted to go to. She talked her dad into paying for it. The photos were of bare breasted teenage girls farming a field. The school was incredibly expensive and I was angry at the indulgence of her class. I hated her and everything she stood for. We had a terrible fight that frightened everyone around us.

Linn and I went to bed that night but I couldn’t sleep. I was still furious. Pam was spending the night. Several hours later with Linn sleeping next to me Pam crept into the room. She sat on the bed and rubbed my forehead. We fell in love.

The next morning I took a shower with Lee and Pam was very hurt. This is how naive and self-centered I was.

The sound track for all of this was Cat Stevens, Quadrophenia, and the Rolling Stones with Mick Taylor.

When Pam left me I thought I would die from a broken heart. I camped under her bedroom window every night until she relented. For some reason she came back.

Something in me had changed and I didn't want her anymore. My heart had hardened. The tables were turned and she wanted me back. I slept with Lee just to hurt her. The weird thing was, in the dark it seemed like I was with Linn.

I really loved both of them. Lee died 2 years ago from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs. I had the hardest cry of my adult life. It was a total breakdown.

9 comments:

tonpatti said...

Even I was confused by this post. It's funny how when you try to put it all into words, the interconnectedness of everything can become a weighted net that drags you down further the harder you struggle to rise above.

If I knew Don Belk had died I'd forgotten. I always thought he was one of Tracy Wynkoop's friends. I'll never forget him throwing bricks off the roof of 18th Street around the time I finally abandoned it.

Doggie said...

Yes, I hope it makes a little more sense now. I had done some cut and paste editing and didn't put things back together quite right.

Doggie said...

How do you think we ended up with Tracy. I brought him back from the county having met him through Don Belk. I'll post that one soon but it involves sordid details from my past.

rico said...

whatever happened to april and paris bequette?i have an amusing story involving don's sister coming to our house on victor, but i have no idea what her name is

Doggie said...

Her name was Tammy. Very pretty, got pregnant too young.

susan said...

i took my youngest to see the tribute band for the beatles at the fox, and i started to think about patrick udell, because i remember him saying he knew the workds to every beatles song and us trying to challenge him, i remember david,dominic,and john, just a little bit,.im looking for april bequette if anyone knows where she is. i dated bob bequette for sometime.i was at the'twins' house all the time but my memory is not the best.can someone please tell me what happened to don?? im dont know why i cant remember, i spent time at his house, parties and music, he and jeff were nice guys. i hung out with april and bob, and thier friends from across the street, kim and mark carter. kim used to lay on the couch at the twins house and put those huge head phones on and sing along with neil youngs 'after the gold rush', she truly stunk, and we used to think it was hysterical.i remember tracy too! travis reginald wyncoop,im not sure if that was his real name but i remember him saying that. i knew lee, and linn, and ralph and alison. sorry i know this is jumbled, but its coming back a little at a time. i think i met the twins through heidi graul, who lived up the street on the corner of elm and swon. i still communicate with heidi a bit. well, just thought id stop by and say hil take care!!!susan (king) miko

Doggie said...

That's Travis Reginald Wynkoop III, but you can call him Reggie..... Just kidding

susan said...

OH, I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THE III PART, TIL YOU SAID IT. I ALSO FORGOT HOW TO SPELL, WHEN I SAID KIMS SINGING STUNK, BUT THAT LINE SHOULD HAVE SAID STANK! TAKE CARE

heidikaye said...

damn i hate to hear that lee & don's both done gone...me and the twins was best of friends back in the day! the twins were the first friends i had when we moved to webster...we lived just a few houses apart and were like peanut butter and jelly for a few years! if you do ever hear from linn, please tell her heidi sure would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear from her! funny when susan told about old kim sitting there singing away! and tracy...he sure was a character back then too! them was the days when we were all just becoming aware, wasn't it?! goodness but we all thought we were SO ALREADY GROWED UP TOO THEN!!! LOL at all us silly assed kids!!! thanks for the memory jog though...and like i said, if linn ever hollers at you tell her to hunt me down on this internet stuff too!!!