Saturday, February 7, 2009


I’ve been putting hundreds of miles on my new 1990 Corolla. The oppressive heaviness of impending roadside helplessness is beginning to lift. Here comes spring. Now if I could just get back in the studio.

My daughter Chloe becomes a teenager next Saturday on Valentine’s Day. Her boyfriend is a 16 year old hormonal sex freak named Charlie.

Needless to say my studio time on the weekends has been abandoned for my new role as 24 hour a day chaperone.

My cantata is gathering dust. I can hear myself growing older.

I think it’s time for the pill.

The very mention of birth control elicits rage from my ex, “You’ll just be giving her permission to have sex!”

Sexual activity, if it hasn’t already started, will happen before we know about it. I’m a nervous wreck and have no life of my own. I’m appealing to anyone with adolescents. Help!!!!! I breathe a deep sigh of relief every time her period starts.

Other than that signs of life are returning.  (Uh oh, was that Freudian?)

There was talk of a band reunion in March but I haven’t heard anything lately. I think it’s about time to get a band together again.

My buddy Vince and I were climbing a mountain in the Rockies a couple of years ago. I asked if he’d lay a few bass tracks down for me in the studio. He said he’d love to. I told him I’d like to get a band together. He got really excited but suddenly lost his enthusiasm. “You’d be telling me what to play.” He said. I told him I couldn’t promise I wouldn’t and the dream died right there. A band is very much like a marriage and it requires compromise. He did end up doing a lot of work for me in the studio.

When we threw the surprise party for Valerie in November Vince and another friend of mine Roger met for the first time. They had both worked on the same songs.

It’s not that I’m a control freak but I need people who share some of my perspective. What seems obvious and natural to me is completely alien to others.

I know this post seems disjointed but really it’s all about rebirth. That’s what spring is. 

Photo of Dylan strangling Chloe courtesy of Valerie.



Tony Patti said...

"permission to have sex" what teenager has ever waited to have permission to have sex? That one that was locked in her dad's basement, yes, and look at how well she turned out.

She's been smart and lucky so far but we all know that desire peaks when ova are ripest. Is she a feminist? Does she know that she has been absorbing subtle cues that she is supposed to please men all her life - countered only by your own fine example?

I refuse to consider such a thing happening to me in 10 years! But I still want my girl to have fun, have her heart broken a few times, learn the ropes, and hope she never gives up on love, as I did several times. That's when I made my worst mistakes.

Anonymous said...

you know, as a kid i was amazed that your mom and mark and kents mom would let you guys have girls spend the night(or move in).although i had lots of adolescent sex it was always outside of my home, and i was just lucky that i dont have a bunch of little rico's running around. i think as long as you are open and communicate with her a lot you'll be fine. if her mom wont let her get the pill, she will have to learn about raincoats(euphemistically speaking),and other gratification alternatives. good luck geo

...Sharon said...

This is your life David. Your life with kids and you’re richer for it.

Answers are out there. And you better grab on to a few. Quickly. You mention “the pill” – but what about STD’s? For both kids.

Last year it was reported that one in four teen girls has an STD. I’m sure the numbers are just as staggering for the boys.

I just waded through a glut of porn as I googled “teen sex” to see what comes up (which opens other issues). I found some reputable articles and studies to start with. You can peruse the info while chaperoning the (en)raging teens. Why, you can just bypass awkward sex-ed conversations by reading them aloud, so everyone can hear. Very loud. With feeling.

Basically, there’s a lot more than just sexual curiosity going on with the kids. Other big things that they’ll carry through their lives. This study from Harvard is pretty interesting…

Oh, and what did you and Chloe think of the “Reviving Ophelia” book? (If you’re done with it I want to pass it on to another friend with a ten year old.)

Anonymous said...

This response is to anonymous (geo).

I'm amazed you think I, or Suzy, woould "let" our sons have girls stay overnight! We both worked at night and I, for one, could gain absolutely no control over my sons. There was a lot of yelling, talking and crying on my part, to no avail. This is just to let you, Geo, know that I did NOT have a "liberated" attitude, even though it may have seemed so.

By the way, David told me about Marge. I'm so sorry for you and Jean and glad to read your account assuring that she died peacefully.

Carolyn, David's and Patrick's mom