My real independence came when I turned 15. I was a city kid and I’d already developed a strong enough sense of nostalgia that I was compelled to hitch hike back to
My friend Don, the kid I used to play air guitar on yard sticks to Kinks records, was actually playing bass now.
Don turned me on the “Grab Bag” at
My dad and Suzy Gray came up with the cash. Actually Suzy laid a guilt trip on my dad to come up with the money.
It was a beautiful sunny weekend morning. My family lived in the attic of a mansion on
I hitched as far as
Don turned me on to his friends in
She lived in a huge, beautiful
Lin was one of four girls who lived with her dad about half a block from
Lin and I started taking long walks together late at night. As hip as we thought we were, we were babies. One night we found ourselves in the bushes by railroad tracks. It must have taken two hours before we got up the nerve to kiss. After that, it was official, we were one!
I can’t believe her dad let us, but we slept together. It never even occurred to us to have sex. That went on for six months, but it couldn’t last forever.
I feel really lucky that my first time was with someone going through the same thing. The whole night was spent in attempts. We would start and she would cry, “No, no stop, it hurts!” then she would say, “Let’s try again.” “No, no stop, it hurts!” She was crying. I couldn’t believe how awful this experience I had fantasized about was turning out.
The whole thing taught me sex wasn’t about satisfying me, it was a shared experience. That night we shared Hell!
Lin got pregnant, of course. We had a long talk with her dad and decided we were way too young to even consider having a kid. Her dad paid for the procedure and I paid half of it back over time. We all learned a lot. I don’t think I ever told my mom until I was almost 30.
I mentioned earlier Lee died a couple of years ago. I had the most satisfying cry of my adult life.
Lin and Lee